I have a habit...one might call it a penchant...for responding in various forums in a manner that has been falsely described as necro-ing and ghosting.
Essentially, if I read something a few days (and sometimes longer) after something is posted, and if I see something worth putting in my two cents, then my response will neccesarily appear a few days (and sometimes longer) after the item was initially being bandied about. The inappropriate allegation is that I am necro-ing the topic in that I am creating interest in something long after it is "dead".
Alternatively, I might be in the middle of a conversation and decide not to respond to my interlocutors' rejoinders. The cool kids call this "ghosting".
I offer the following for the few that complain about such things.
- It's usually a good idea to let ideas rest for a moment before responding. There are times where giving myself some additional time to think about something either leads to a better response or sometimes see that all that needs to be said has been said.
- When responding to a conversation, there are times when it becomes clear that the discussion is going south pretty quickly. It is headed into an area where name-calling is the least of the bad outcomes. When I see the trainwreck coming, I try to step away from the tracks.
- There are people that are not worth engaging with for various reasons. Sometimes they clearly aren't open to anything that might modify their perspective. Sometimes their Overton window is broken. There are other reasons. It generally takes quite a few interactions before I decided not to respond to an individual. And I generally will try again with the same individual on another topic at some point down the road. It takes a lot of effort on their part for me to plonk someone.
- I have other tasks to accomplish in my life. I work 40+ hours a week at a job. I enjoy the company of my beloved bride. And our kids. And our grandchildren. I make quilts. I read quite a bit. I help care for my elderly family members. Life is full and life is good (mostly).
- Sometimes life isn't good. I had to spend a couple hours helping a family member clear some downed trees that had fallen on their house recently. I also spent a couple hours retrieving someone that had literally lost their way while driving home. Getting old sucks.
At the end of the day, I comment and correspond when I have the interest, something useful to add, an interesting interlocutor, and the time. In this, I have deep sympathy for George R.R. Martin. Unless someone is paying my bills, they have no right to demand that I respond on their schedule. Even then, I still have a choice and my interlocutor's desires are not determinative of that decision. It is, at the very least, rude of someone to behave otherwise.
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