Review: One-Fifth Dragon

One-Fifth Dragon by Shami Stovall
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

This is a 2-star review. I made it through 10% of the book. Chapter 4. Then I entered the Dorothy Parker book throwing Olympics.

Pretty good start. Generic Asian/Japanese-inspired culture focusing on ninjas. Various clans with unique magical abilities. Some early examples of how those abilities interact and compete.

The student is learning from the master. The master is a bit young to be a master and (until now) too young to accept a student. They are assigned this student who has been poorly trained up until now by a different master.

They go on a training mission to assassinate someone from a dominant clan. The student encounters trouble. The poor training becomes evident. Perhaps the student's attitude is wrong as well. The master saves the student. The targeted clan experiences many deaths. The student and master get away.

And then ...Record scratch.... they go to an inn where the student seduces (partially) the master across several pages of narrative. It turns out that the main clan had adopted the master many years ago. The master has a unique form of magic, but no one wants to marry them. The student came from a clan that had been almost wiped out. The student was similarly adopted by the main clan. They want someone to breed with the master. The student agreed (despite serious risks) and does everything possible to consummate the arrangement while they are on the run from committing an assassination and multiple murders.

The master...again a very stoic person...resists temptation with the obvious implication that when the cultural rules permit it, they will be actively participating.

4 chapters in!! No serious character development up to that point. Bubbly student. Stoic master. Rough sketches of the culture. That's it. A good start, but only a start. Let's get our freaky-deaky on!

I'm not a romantasy fan. This smacks of romantasy in so many ways. I've read Peter V. Brett, N.K. Jemisin, and Robert Heinlein - each of whom have extended sex scenes included in various works in ways that are carefully integrated into the plot. It isn't the sex that is the issue. It is the romantasy trope of making the entire story about a romantic relationship.

Couple that with the fact that the entire scenario as written would be "problematic" in any other setting. One person makes a secret deal to have sex with another person. That second person was already feeling manipulated and vulnerable. And their sexuality is bartered away without their consent.

Rhetorically chucked across the room and started something that I hope will be better.

2-stars only because the writing was pretty good. Grammar/spelling were solid if not perfect. It has the bones of a good story early on.


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Coyote vs Acme - A Modest Review

Wile E. Coyote.  Super-genius.  Or so he thinks.

Boom.

And then boom.

And then a catapult with a boulder that smashes.  That TNT that didn’t work before?  Boom.

When things go wrong so frequently and predictably, there must be a flaw.  Someone must have done something wrong.  The only correct response?

Boom.

No.  Get a lawyer!

This is the central conceit of Coyote vs. Acme.  Our hero…????…goes off to the big city of Albuquerque…again…????…to hire a lawyer to sue Acme for the serial harm he has endured.  His sooper sekrit and blueprinted plan suggests an ulterior motive.

Hijinks ensue as we learn that corporate greed fostered an illicit program of using cartoon characters as unwilling product development subjects subject to all the classics; fold, spindle, perforate, and the ever classic “boom”.  John Cena threatens Tweety by saying “I don’t pay you to tawt you taw.  I pay you to taw!”(1)  A sue-and-settle law firm learns the lesson of not giving up.  A corporate bigwig is prepared for a fricassee.  And the Coyote finds a friend…that he continues to chase.

Coyote vs. Acme does an outstanding job of playing all of the hits.  Pun intended.  The first ten minutes took me back 50 years to Saturday mornings in the basement with my little brother, our dog, and a box of Milk Bones.  We shared the Milk Bones.  I grew out of it.  My brother never did. 

Back when the cartoons had gratuitous violence that left little kids in stitches with laughter.  When you thought things couldn’t get any worse for the Coyote until it did…again, and again, and again.

Coyote vs. Acme is the best animated-and-live-action movie since Who Framed Roger Rabbit.  The writing is tight.  The actors are great (mostly).  The cartoon characters are back in their 1940s-1960s form.

This is a movie made for kids of a certain age.  Old kids.  Very, very old kids.

The dozen or so patrons at my matinee showing were rolling with laughter.  But that highlights the problem.  Most modern little kids won’t have the cartoon vocabulary to appreciate the jokes because modern cartoons not only grind off the serial numbers, they grind off the sharp edges.  This is a great movie for those that remember the originals.  Their children (and perhaps grandchildren) who have been suitably educated about the history of animation in America will have a good time as well.

Only time will tell if Coyote vs. Acme will make a net profit in the bank.  In terms of laughter it is a solid gold success.

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Thanks to Mike Glyer over at File770 for running this piece.  As always, I appreciate his consideration.

(1)  The quote above isn't quite accurate.  You can see the full preview here.  The accurate quotation follows.

"I tawt I taw..."

"You tawt you taw? I don't pay you to tink you taw, I pay you to taw!"

"I did!  I did taw!"

"What did you tee?  What did you taw?"

Classic.  Go see the movie.