Are You Kidding Me?

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Posted on : 6/30/2011 05:27:00 PM | By : Dann | In : , ,

A couple of caveats before we proceed. 

First, I am overweight.  I'm working on it, but things are what they are.  If this story makes me a hypocrite, then so be it.

Second, I ride a motorcycle....with all of the additional risks that entails.  I always wear a helmet even though I support efforts to repeal our helmet laws so that others can make a different choice.

Third, I generally believe in leaving people alone to make decisions about how to run their lives.  I'd prefer not to be judged incapable of running my own life, so I try not to judge the capacity of others to run their lives.

Fourth, I long for the day when robotic implants are as common as candy corn.  If that was the case today, then my 1080p HD eyeball camera could have taken a snap shot of this guy that was travelling in the opposite direction across a bridge.  And you would be able to see what I saw.  I probably would have uploaded the picture to Facebook while waiting for the traffic light to turn green.

This one is hard to believe.

There I was riding my bike across a two lane bridge today.  Traffic was backed up and I was stopped in the middle of the span.  But traffic was moving well in the other direction.

Along comes this guy headed in the other direction.  For the moment, why don't we call him "Guy".

Guy weighs an easy 300 lbs.  He may weigh closer to 350, but it was hard to know.  And it was pretty obvious that he didn't get that heavy going to the gym.

Guy was riding the sort of little scooter that has become popular due to recent gas price increases.  I'm pretty sure that he weighed more than his scooter.

Here in Michigan, scooter riders are not required to wear a helmet.  So he wasn't.  He also only had a thin, Hawaiian style shirt.  No coat.  He did have some awesome glasses, so at least his eyes were covered.

Guy has trouble breathing.  At least, I suspect that he carries some sort of air/oxygen tank with him.  He had one of those flexible plastic tubes running from between his legs, up over each ear, and around to his nose.  So this isn't a wild inference on my part.

Assuming he was connected to his tank, one might reasonably wonder about the consequences of his tank sliding out from between his feet while he is motoring along.  Alternatively, the tank might have been tied tightly to the scooter which opens up the question of what happens if he gets into an accident where is bike goes one direction and his body goes another.

The cherry on top of this modest vignette?

The cigarette dangling from his lips as his scooter went putt-putting on by!!

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